Where do I start, but who really cares cause no one reads this. . . but I can't stand myself. I am up, then I am down, somedays I am in the middle, and somedays I'm super stoked. How does this make sense? What I want the most is consistency  but my family is never consistant. They are always changing this, changing that. I just need consistency! With my life being as scattered as it is, I need things to be in order, to be set in place, not always constantly changing! *For instance* my family can not keep a car, instead my dad always thinks up some idea that ends up just stressing him out then of course it falls back on my mom, then on me (since I am living here at the moment). I just don't see the point in getting rid of a brand new car, when it serves a purpose in what you do in your daily life! 

Another thing is, is that my heart is always racing, which makes it very tough to hold in my emotions, whether they be negative or positive. It is driving me crazy, All I want to do is have normal goals, be healthy, and be mentally healthy, but when you have family around you that is always wanting to change or do something out of the ordinary, or on a whim, it just throughs me all off! I can't even explain the feeling... It is like my mind explodes then just shuts down and tunes everything out. I guess that is another thing I can ask God to fix too. With that said, I am gonna pray...

L8TR

Some days are mixed... kinda like the nuts

Somedays, there will be a little good and a lotta bad, or visa versa, but when you have a family that is not outwardly or inwardly happy it tends to effect how you react and how you interact around them. 
Naturally, I am a happy-go-lucky person, and almost always have a positive outlook on everything, but it seems when I spend too much time with my family it turns me into a really negative person, given out circumstances. I feel so bad for nearly everyone in our family, because of one huge mistake that happened 10 years ago this Easter, to my dad. I will post a story about this later on when I am feeling up to writing a page or two (because the story is a long story). Basically my dad is disabled from head to toe, and can't do much of anything, let alone do the bare minimum a human being can do. In turn, this affects my mom greatly as she has all the responsibility in the house and has to do nearly everything to keep my dad afloat. She often can't take the stress and just turns into a emotionless zombie, which in turn affects me cause now I have no mom, no dad, and 2 brothers. It's hard but you can sometimes catch them when they are in a good mood, but 87.34% they are usually not. There is always some problem going on, and if it's not one thing it's the other and it's always negative. It is easy to stray away from God when you have these kinds of issues going on, but i see it as an opportunity to do better and to be a better example for Christ, and show other people that there is hope, and that there is a way out of darkness, and into the light. Ya, it might sounds cliche, but it's damn true, and I know it because I have experienced a lot of negativity in my life, and God kicked me in the butt, and told me to get it together. It wasn't a voice that was crystal clear, calling out of the sky to me, but it was a uncomfortable urge and a calling to get my life back on the path it needed to be on. 

BUT! On the plus side of today I had an interview with Colombia Outerwear Apparel, and it went EXCELLENT! I got complimented on my handwriting, got told I Aced the interview, and also got told that they would be giving me a call in about 2 weeks to follow up with me. I am more than excited, because this is the launch of a new beginning for Samuel P. Meyers, and I am gonna show this company what I am all about. Dedication, motivation, and work ethic! So there you have it, today was a pretty awesome day on my part, and tomorrow will be even better because I said so!
Also, I went to this antique store and bought this dope Native American made ring with Opal and Obsidian inlayed in it. Beautiful

God, I believe that you have great plans for me in my journey called life, but could you please help out mom and dad a little bit. Yes, you have blessed them with a great home, and nice things, but it seems emotionally and physically they are suffering. I just ask that you could put a fire in my mothers heart, and heal my father enough to were he can't be sustainable. 

Read it and Die and Stuff

i like the fact that in approx. 7 days i will be in a different town living a different life, on my birthday, without the factors that edge on my problems the most. Strippin it down to the main essentials. God, family, and nature. With these three things, I am whole. All I need is these 3 wonderful gifts and I am fulfilled. If you want to be a smartass then, YES i need food and water, but besides all the necessities  all other items are wants or excuses. I can go explore territory I have yet to see, and be among plants and creatures I have yet to come in contact with. Seems like a pretty great, grand ol' time to me!
OH! and I forgot to list I am getting my bipolar disorder straightened out, so I can be 100% solid in everything I do. Right now I am runnin on about 47 or 49% which is unmanageable at this point. Once I get things settled, it will open up so many new doors and possibilities for me to explore.

OH YEAH>>>>> something that just hit me while writing>>>>>>>>
                           
God is the one who put me hear (believe it or not, that is what I choose to believe), soI have been instructed by Him to make believers out of other people by the example I set forth. Now, granted most of this is pretty hard and grueling, because after all, who wants a bunch of people following your roll which you have learned from Christ?  Not too many, since once you slide, your following or group tends to slide with you.
The thing we have gotta do is show people we aren't perfect, but that we are striving for perfection in the eyes of God. We will never live up to man's expectation, but if we seek God's council we can not go wrong.

peaceandlove

Red Rocks

If you read my blog, you know that I am leaving the corn state to move to the state of the red rocks and beautiful sunsets. Part of me will miss being a country boy, and the other will love leaving the stupid bipolar weather. I don't have too many friends that I honestly care about or hangout with here so I won't really miss them (no offense), but the thing I am scared about the most is being prepared for going down there. The second is pleasing people. For some reason it has always been my goal to get others approval and to make others proud instead of focusing on God and I's relationship. I mean, I can try all I want to make me happy, but I will get no where without God. I will always need his approval to make my life easier.

Another thing that I am HAPPY about, is seeing my little brother and puupy, Bailey again. Both bring greats joy in my life. David is just a great kid, I swear you won't find another kid who has such a willing spirit to help or learn. He just wants a friend and example to look up too, which will be me when I get down there. Also, Bailey. The best dog I could have ever asked for. I can read her like a book and she understands me all too well too.

Basically what I am going to Arizona for is to get help with my mental disabilities AKA BIPOLAR disorder, ADD, and whatever else I have that strays me away from getting things done. Being bipolar sucks butt, because it is such an emotional roller coaster... One minute you are up and ready to take on the world and the next your ready to die and jump off a cliff. Some days you are in the middle and things are just, bleh, then the next day things cause just be stellar! It is really emotionally exhausting. It also makes your mind race and think about negative things that you would never think about on a daily basis. All I can say is I am looking forward to getting my mental status taken care of, and that I am glad my family is willing to help me out on my journey. Without them I am nothing. They are always there for me in my greatest times of need.

Prayers, love, and thoughts for me would and are greatly appreciated. I could use them. I get discouraged a lot and sometimes it is hard to get out of that rut. I want to be all manly and just tough it out but sometimes that only makes it worse. MEH! Oh well, life is life and I will be able to enjoy the pleasures of Arizonas scenery and nature which makes me happy.

Love God Love People Influence Everyone with your Actions


SAM PAUL

EVERYDAY PEOPLE

Ok, is it me, or are people just losing all sense of morality and respect? I really don't understand!!! I make a joke, and an insult with some hurtful heart smashing words comes flying back! I try to be more Christ-like, but it is really getting hard to keep my cool, and to be the bigger person, because it seems to me that people these days just aren't getting it!

We all know the saying that actions speak louder than words, but I am really questioning that how true that statement really is! Do people really know they are doing wrong, or are they so accustomed to doing it they don't even realize right from wrong, good from bad, evil from good.  

My mind seems to have the idea to just blow up on these useless peons, but God said to love your neighbor as yourself, and do unto others as you would want them to do to you. So, I still live by that to the best of my ability, even though it is very difficult, us Christians have to set ourselves apart from other so that they can see the personality of Christ through us, and want the same exact thing!

i will just have to be patient with this Kesha loving, neon wearing, DUBstep listening to era and just keep hoping it changes sooon. God is love and love is pretty tight. 

AMEN,

SAMBEO