Where do I start, but who really cares cause no one reads this. . . but I can't stand myself. I am up, then I am down, somedays I am in the middle, and somedays I'm super stoked. How does this make sense? What I want the most is consistency  but my family is never consistant. They are always changing this, changing that. I just need consistency! With my life being as scattered as it is, I need things to be in order, to be set in place, not always constantly changing! *For instance* my family can not keep a car, instead my dad always thinks up some idea that ends up just stressing him out then of course it falls back on my mom, then on me (since I am living here at the moment). I just don't see the point in getting rid of a brand new car, when it serves a purpose in what you do in your daily life! 

Another thing is, is that my heart is always racing, which makes it very tough to hold in my emotions, whether they be negative or positive. It is driving me crazy, All I want to do is have normal goals, be healthy, and be mentally healthy, but when you have family around you that is always wanting to change or do something out of the ordinary, or on a whim, it just throughs me all off! I can't even explain the feeling... It is like my mind explodes then just shuts down and tunes everything out. I guess that is another thing I can ask God to fix too. With that said, I am gonna pray...

L8TR